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Man visits a house to repair washing machine, but the lady of the house is just going shopping. She lets him in and says 'Don't take any notice of the dog but what ever you do, do not speak to the parrot'. When he gets in he finds the meanest looking Bull Dog you ever saw, but he ignored it and started work on the machine with the dog watching his every move. Meanwhile the parrot was giving him continuous verbal abuse. After a while this got to him and eventually he reached such a state that he snapped and shouted at the parrot 'Shut the f**k up you miserable little apology for a bird or I'll wring your scrawny neck' To which the parrot replied 'Get him Spike!'

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Ohh! Stickey how insensitive of you to remind me of Parrots at a time when we are still wearing black following the demise of Dear Dear Parrotty. And don't forget that nothing succeeds like a parrot. W

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Hi Chris. Sorry to be so insensitive, didn't think you would still be in mourning. Thought this would cheer you up as the parrot appears to be the smart guy and hero of the hour. You know we are all pro-parrot on here. 'Er indoors has about a dozen chickens and three ducks which are quite smart, but the chickens are particularly stupid.... Have fun. Sticky.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot. "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses." "The kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus." he replied. Keep laughing!!!!!

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